Weak Knees, Weak Heart

So this possible boyfriend
of mine is, well, he just is.
Frankly I don’t know
what the hell I am doing with him.
We are not dating, I know that.
He likes me, I know that too.
And I can sort of understand
his reluctance. I feel slightly
the same way. But we can’t
do what ever it is we are doing
for much longer. I feel like
I am chasing a dream
when I just wake up;
I know it’s a good one
and I want so badly to hold on to it,
but, like most good dreams,
it slips threw my fingers like dry sand.
I want this. I need it. But I can’t
keep chasing something that
I have no hope of catching.
It is just too exhausting for me
right now. He says have hope,
“hope for the best”, and I do.
God knows it is that hope that keeps
me from freezing solid.
But it is but a candle in a blizzard;
capable of starting a blaze to save me
and just as capable of flickering out,
leaving me even more lost
than when I set out. I am just so sick
of being tired all the time
and unable to sleep. I find myself
staying up, talking to him,
just to make my body as tired as my mind.
I guess that there is not much
that you can do, if anything at all,
but I just wish he would stop running.
So what if the ground starts to shake
underneath him? If anything it may
help make his knees stronger.
If not then I will be there
to help him back up.