War and Peace

So I am sitting here,
my hair tied back with a claw clip,
R.E.M. on in the background,
a cup of tea in my hand,
and I feel real.
No more numbness at the moment.
A shame it took me all day
to get here, to this state
of grey and not black.
It is eleven thirty at night
and I am finally feeling energetic,
ready to go. Great.
The only problem;
my mind is the only part
of me that feels like this,
my body on the other hand
is pissed off that I didn’t nap today,
I woke up at seven,
and it is eleven thirty
and instead of sleeping
I am trying to figure out
a way to make myself feel more awake.
Ah, and the battle rages on,
a battle I am familiar with,
intimately.
Right and wrong,
good and evil, pleasure and pain,
my body and
what it needs
against my mind and what
it takes to keep me sane.
Only in a blue moon do they coincide,
like earlier today when
I showered, washed my face,
put lotion on, did my nails,
feet included, and wore clean clothes.
Normal for most people
but I think that it is safe
to say that I am not normal.
It was nice, though,
having all of me together
like that. I am afraid
that it is over and once again
I am battling, forcing the two
of me to play nice,
get along,
stop trying to kill each other.